Managing a body versus living in one
When rejection happens, as it inevitably does, your nervous system is flooded with uncertainty.
No One Wants to Be Cured of Who They Are
Philip Bromberg has a sentence I keep coming back to: "No one will allow themselves to be cured of who they are."
In the last post I wrote about his idea that an eating disorder isn't a malfunction but a split-off part of the self, one that learned to control what it was never helped to regulate. This post is about what that means for getting better.
What Can't Be Regulated Gets Controlled
Real change comes from slowly tracing the preoccupation back to what it's actually protecting you from feeling.
Why Do I Feel Like Something Is Wrong With Me?
Most people think of boundaries as a task problem: the meeting you learn to decline, the favor you finally say no to, the project you hand back instead of absorbing. Task boundaries are the easy version of the problem, and you've probably already solved for those.
Emotional boundaries ask something harder — knowing where you end and someone else begins.
Why Do I Feel Like Something Is Wrong With Me?
When rejection happens, as it inevitably does, your nervous system is flooded with uncertainty.
How Do I Deal With Body Dysmorphia?
Real change comes from slowly tracing the preoccupation back to what it's actually protecting you from feeling.
Am I a Failure?
Intellectually, you understand that your decision to leave the job early, end the relationship, or take runner-up for the role you auditioned for, doesn't mean you're a failure. But the hum of unease tells a different story.
How Mourning Heals What Self-Improvement Can't
This shift — from I am bad to I was hurt — is not semantic. It is the difference between a wound that can heal and a verdict that cannot be appealed.
Performing: The Exhaustion Nobody Talks About
Smiling at the right moment. Saying the right thing. Making sure you present only the part of yourself you are certain will be approved.